Oct 16, 2017
Sometimes being a mom and having a new baby and still feeling new and like an outsider just leaves me feeling raw.
Stuff about the elementary school bugs me, but I hesitate to speak up because I feel like I’m still trying to get my bearings and even understand the system. And, anyway, the couple of times I’ve tried to speak up since we moved to this area it hasn’t done a bit of good and I think just made the office staff secretly not like me.
I try not to admit it to myself because it never makes me feel better, but I’m definitely still experiencing daily culture shock here. I’m not sure I’ll ever quite get used to it.
And today I made the valiant mistake of trying really hard and wholeheartedly at something I have a pretty strong track record for failing at and, yep, didn’t finish strong, as usual.
I’m so incredibly, unfathomably grateful for my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband or kids. We live in a wonderful cozy home in a safe neighborhood. We have plenty of food to eat and enough for our needs. And still so often it feels like I’m just tumbling into the finish line at the end of the day. I wonder if I’ll ever really feel like I belong and like I’ve got a handle on things. I wonder if anybody does.
katielewisstudio.com 
Brene Brown, “Braving the Wilderness.” She researches the question in your last sentence. Sending love ❤️ and courage and strong hugs to you.
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Oh I so get this. I always think, “someday I’ll have it all perfectly figured out and will know exactly what I’m doing.” But I know that even when “someday” finally arrives, there will be new things I’m trying to understand and figure out. I think though, it reminds me a scripture I read this morning that basically says that the Lord knows and He understands it all. I’m so glad. I’m sorry today was a harder day. I love you friend. And just know that I’m over here trying to figure it all out too. And haha, it made me laugh about culture shock in that area because yes, it is definitely a different place. And even so so so much different from when I was growing up there. And I’m not sure I would like it so much if I actually did indeed move back. The culture that is. But for you and my family? Oh man, I’d move back in a heartbeat. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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If you moved back we would just hang out every day and do whatever we wanted and life would be aaaaaamazing. ❤️✌🏻
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