Oct 16, 2017
Sometimes being a mom and having a new baby and still feeling new and like an outsider just leaves me feeling raw.
Stuff about the elementary school bugs me, but I hesitate to speak up because I feel like I’m still trying to get my bearings and even understand the system. And, anyway, the couple of times I’ve tried to speak up since we moved to this area it hasn’t done a bit of good and I think just made the office staff secretly not like me.
I try not to admit it to myself because it never makes me feel better, but I’m definitely still experiencing daily culture shock here. I’m not sure I’ll ever quite get used to it.
And today I made the valiant mistake of trying really hard and wholeheartedly at something I have a pretty strong track record for failing at and, yep, didn’t finish strong, as usual.
I’m so incredibly, unfathomably grateful for my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better husband or kids. We live in a wonderful cozy home in a safe neighborhood. We have plenty of food to eat and enough for our needs. And still so often it feels like I’m just tumbling into the finish line at the end of the day. I wonder if I’ll ever really feel like I belong and like I’ve got a handle on things. I wonder if anybody does.