Jul 10, 2017
I find myself thinking about food. And then not knowing what to think about it. I’ve done my fair share of fad diets in the past and every time I get fed up and break up with one, it leaves me feeling apathetic (at best) about food. Following made-up rules and half-truths just messes with your brain.
And even though the diet I was on for gestational diabetes wasn’t a hoax or a fad, it dumped me off at the end of pregnancy feeling much the same way.
It’s been nice to eat treats, but I’m eating too many. I can eat what I want, but what do I want? I can go crazy and eat fruit for breakfast! …but don’t feel like slicing it up. Too much cereal. Not enough veg. And way too many cookies.
I hate to use this analogy because I just wasn’t like this as an 18 year old, but it’s like I’m a kid who went off to college and went crazy without adult supervision.
Part of me wants the security of some new plan. Counting calories, certain portions at meals. But I know from experience how exhausting that can be, especially when your heart’s not in it. I don’t want a rebound boyfriend when it comes to food. I want to make good choices and have freedom and flexibility. I just want to live my life.
The problem is, I know, too, from experience that eating the “just living my life” philosophy always seems to end (at least in my case) in low self esteem and energy levels to match due to too much fat on my bones.
Ideally I’d love to get into a good long-term exercise routine I enjoy and look forward to and then eat sensibly to match. I genuinely enjoy long walks, but only with a walking buddy and I haven’t really had a chance to get into that or find one out here since I’ve been pregnant for most of the time since we moved to the area. I’d also really like to do basic weight lifting on a regular basis, but I’m not great at doing it at home and getting to the gym with three kids (especially a newborn) just doesn’t seem realistic.
Plus I’m still in the recovery zone from my c-section where I’m not supposed to “overdo” it, as they say, so I feel like anything beyond walking around is kinda out of the question for the next six weeks. Truth be told, I’m really in no great hurry to rush back into ultra healthy eating or exercise, I’m just worried I’m going to eat a lot of junk in the meantime and make choices I regret.
Anyway, this has mostly all served as a complainy, ramble-y waste of time with no helpful conclusions, but it’s just been on my mind lately. If you have any amazing (or just regular) solutions, please share.