I can think clearly now the meds are gone

Jul 1, 2017

I have to remind myself all the time that this is a blog, not a journal, and I can write whatever I want when I want. My goal was to write each day, not to report back on some random list of things I did at the end of the day. So today I’m writing just after 2:45am, mostly because: I can. 

I’ve been on two pain meds the past few days–one regular strong one and one extra strong optional one that makes me loopy. During the day it just makes me loopy and drowsy in a way that just feels hard to focus, but at night it gives me super disorienting dreams and stuff. Last night (tonight? The night I’m kinda still in the middle of?) was the first dose of it I’ve decided to skip and boy does it feel good to wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and actually have clarity of mind. 

I’m afraid most people haven’t read the entire Chronicles of Narnia series which is a bummer because all of the books are so good. I think The Silver Chair tends to be one of those oft-neglected books in the series and it’s one of the ones I find myself thinking about the most. It speaks in several places about our clarity of mind and the way we understand things both in the moment and in the big picture and the imagery it uses has stayed with me. And after several nights being stuck in loopiness by my pain killers, I can sure relate to the prince when the silver chair is finally broken. 

What an incredible gift it is simply to be able to think straight and communicate effectively and have a clear mind. It’s a gift I definitely take for granted most of the time. 

Well, that and the ability to climb in and out of bed easily. Or, ya know, have my bowels work–ahem–properly. Or to take deep breaths without having my overly-sensitive stomach/ab muscles kinda freak out. Also, clothes that both fit and don’t hurt to wear… and that I can easily breastfeed in. May or may not have so few of those outfits at the moment that I could count them on one finger. All I can say is thank goodness for a washer and dryer. 

Anyway, it’s obviously late/early and I need to feed our sweet little baby boy and then try and get back to sleep, but I just wanted to pop in and say how great healthy bodies and sound minds are and how grateful I am to currently have one and be working my way back to the other. I hope if you’re having a super normal, boring day today you’ll pause for a moment and feel grateful for all that you have. 

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