Happy-grams

Jun 28, 2017

Sometimes social media gets a bad rap. And sometimes it deserves it. But as I keep looking back over all the family pictures I’ve posted from Henry’s birth and even the past few weeks before that, you know what I haven’t thought? I haven’t thought, “Gosh, I wish I wouldn’t have posted so much.” 

Given, in this case I’m talking about a private family IG account that I have a chatbooks subscription to, so not only is my photo sharing a way to share with family and friends, but, more importantly (to me), it’s a form of family history. 

And even more than that, in the short term (long before the printed photo books arrive in the mail), it’s all a good reminder that life is good. As a stay at home mom (ok and just as a person), so much of my daily life is a roller coaster of ups and downs and all too often, wherever the current situation in that moment happens to land dictates my vision of the whole day. Posting pictures of the good and happy and fun and meaningful parts of the day helps me to focus more on those things and be more grateful and aware of all the joy I get to experience each day. It’s not to try and create some false positive front to make friends and family think my life is more exciting than it really is. It’s just a way of cataloging and giving weight to those moments in the day I’m most grateful for and don’t want to forget. 

Obviously there’s a time and place for sharing and some things are too personal or whatever, but I sure have been grateful lately for a whole feed of reminders of the blessed life I get to live. 

He’s here! 

Jun 27, 2017

Baby Henry is here! He was delivered by c-section this morning and he’s just the sweetest, most content little guy. It was a really hard c-section for me (less chipper, more painful), but he’s 100% worth it. 

I’m still on clear liquids tonight, but supposedly in the morning I get to start eating real food again. Hopefully by the time the kids come tomorrow to visit the hospital and meet their new baby brother we’ll all be able to celebrate with some cookies. 

So happy for the arrival of our newest little guy! 

Last night of pregnancy

Jun 26, 2017

It feels surreal to be this ready. House all cleaned up, kids safe and snug in their beds at Nana’s house, laundry all folded and put away, baby quilt finished, hospital bags all packed. It seems strange that I’ll be waking up in just a matter of hours and walking into labor and delivery–not in labor–to have a baby. 

I’ve done my best with this pregnancy and now, heading into a c-section, so many things are completely out of my control. And while there are no garuntees, I’m praying for the baby and the doctor and medical staff and I have a lot of faith that everyone will do their best and that tomorrow will be a good day. Whatever happens, I know Heavenly Father will be watching over us tomorrow. 

And my heart and prayers go out to my mother-in-law and sister-in-law who are taking our two oldest kids for most of the week. Lots of prayers and so much gratitude going their way. 

Just a few more little things to do tonight and then we’ll be heading to bed and waking up bright and early for the big day tomorrow. Can’t wait to share more. Please keep us all in your prayers. 

Way on the other side of tomorrow

Jun 25, 2017

Time is a funny thing. The way it stretches on and on and on right at the end. Just a couple of days turns into a whole pile of hours, which turns into a magnitude of minutes and moments and thoughts. It’s baffling both that at this time tomorrow I’ll have to stop drinking water so I can be prepared for the c-section ahead. And yet also, there’s a whole day between now and then. Things will happen. Checklists will get checked. Errands will be done. 

I’m tired. Today was good, but long and my body is in better shape now than it was at the end of either of my previous pregnancies, but there are still swollen feet and a tiny squished bladder to be reconciled. 

One more day of gestational diabetes. Only one. 

I’m optimistic and hopeful and excited about the days to come. And praying, too, that it all goes well. Not out of doubt, but humility and vulnerability. 

It’s time for bed now. Twenty four more hours and I’ll be on the other side of this day. Here’s to hoping/doing my part to make it a good one to look back on. A good jumpstart into this next big chapter. 

Note to self: when you call just to chat and say hi this late in pregnancy, your mom will definitely think you’re in labor

Jun 24, 2017

The waiting continues. Aside from a pleasant family trip to the library this afternoon, I spent the whole day at home, mostly working on baby Henry’s quilt and watching a billion episodes of Planet Earth on Netflix. 

(Side note: finally made it through the whole “caves” episode this time. Turns out it gets better/less gross after that scene where the bat falls in the poop and gets eaten alive by cockroaches.) 

I finished all the hand quilting and sewed the front of the binding on by machine tonight, so now I just need to finish sewing the back of the binding on by hand and then maybe/probably/definitely stitch his name into it somewhere. 

Honestly can’t decide at this point if I hope I go early or wait until the scheduled c-section and waltz in there all non-contraction-y. On the one hand, it’d be great to go into labor like, now. But on the other hand it’d be great to finish seeing the binding on the quilt and, more importantly, get the kids settled at Nana’s house without any “I’m already in labor” drama and, most importantly, have my body be in non-stress mode when I go in for major surgery. 

Buuuuuut on the other hand, now still sounds good too. 

Airport

Jun 23, 2017

It kind of feels like hanging out in the waiting area before you board a flight. You’ve already gone through security and you’re waiting for the ok to get on the plane, but in the mean time you’re just hanging out there in limbo with your carry-on bags, trying to entertain yourself and keep busy until it’s time. 

Today I did the budget, put away some tools that were left out in the garage, and went to Target for two gallons of milk. Basically the airport equivalent of responding to an email and buying a snack. Other big plans on the agenda are… working on baby Henry’s quilt some more. That’s about it. 

It’s really peaceful and nice to have this quiet time before a big surgery and welcoming a newborn baby into the family, but also just a lot of waiting. Can’t wait to get on that plane. 

Mostly irrational (but possible) fears

Jun 22, 2017

  • That I’ll reach for a new roll of toilet paper and a spider will crawl out from the middle of the roll
  • That a robber will break into our house and get so surprised to find me come home early that they panic and shoot me
  • That I’ll develop type 2 diabetes
  • That Bryan will get sick or injured and be as needy and obnoxious as pregnant me
  • That my GPS will cut out in the middle of taking me through the back roads to or from my in-laws’ and I’ll be lost forever
  • That I’ll have to find very specific books in the library on my own 
  • That the “shiny” song from Moana really will get stuck in my head forever 

Getting ready

Jun 21, 2017

As much as I’ve been joking about wanting the baby to come early, it really wasn’t until yesterday that I started feeling genuinely ready. 

The kids and I went to my final doctor appointment yesterday where I hugged the tech who’s done all my ultrasounds for the past several weeks and the kids and I gave her some chocolate and either because of that or because Olivia was there for the first time and so into it or because the kids told her it was my birthday she went all out and showed us the baby’s sweet little profile and pointed out everything to Olivia and even busted out the 3-D ultrasound which I had never seen before. It was fun to see the kids get so excited and at the end of the day after all the birthday celebrations and cousins to play with I asked Olivia what her favorite part of the day was and she said, “Seeing baby Henry’s face.”

It was also good and focusing and grounding to get to talk to the doctor who’s scheduled to deliver me about how it’ll all go and what will happen when so I know in general what to expect. Not that I haven’t had c-sections before, but it’s a new (to me) hospital and doctor and it was good to get it all laid out. 

Plus there was just a good sense of closure I wasn’t expecting–nor did I realize how much I needed–about getting to go to that last doctor appointment and checking off that final mental box. It feels good to say out loud over and over again to receptionists and nurses and all the other random medical staff that you’re DONE. 

So, the c-section is scheduled for just a little under a week from now and I feel comfortable (figuratively, not actually) and at  peace just hanging out with the kids this week and making the most of our two-on-one time before the baby comes. Today we went to the splash pad and I helped Olivia start sewing a little pin cushion she wanted to make. Trying to mentally gear up for offering to let them do some painting tomorrow. 

There’s just this overarching calm right now. It’s the calm of finally feeling truly ready. 

Life’s luxuries

Jun 20, 2017

In honor of my birthday today, a list of some of life’s simple luxuries I’ve been appreciating lately: 

  • Shaved legs (and a good razor)
  • A happy, healthy marriage
  • Good books to read with the kids at bedtime 
  • Great weather
  • Indoor plumbing 
  • Spellcheck
  • Pandora radio in the car
  • Easy access to good medical care
  • Literacy
  • A peaceful home
  • Family nearby
  • Fresh produce
  • Genuinely kind people
  • Unstructured time with the kids
  • Downtime
  • Our new bed
  • Sunglasses