Apr 17, 2017

I once lived in a house that had a leak. A leak which seeped down through the floor, down to the ceiling below, down to the bathroom in the basement. We told our landlord. Nothing. Days, weeks went by. Nothing. Mold started to grow. As renters there was little we could do. Until one day we went down to the basement and realized that the mold had spread. The tile floor was wet from it growing. The walls were covered in tiny dots of black. We pulled our things from the walls only to discover that most of our belongings had been ruined. It was panic-ridden and disgusting. All we could think about was to get out. OUT. 

That’s the best way I can think of to explain how I feel right now. Our current landlord has mistreated me over and over again solely on the basis of being a woman who opens her mouth when things aren’t right. He ignores my phone calls, my emails, everything. He makes endless excuses instead of a single apology. He rambles on and on about his side of the story and won’t ever let me get a word in. He pretends I don’t exist and then turns around and talks to my husband in an even-tempered way, as if my husband ought to understand, man-to-man. What he doesn’t know is that my husband hates him just as much as I do, but is quieter by nature and doesn’t say so.

I lost it today. I screamed at him. I can still hear the words ringing out of my mouth.

LISTEN TO ME.

Like screaming in an empty room, he ignored me. Directed his words only to my husband. To this man, I do not exist. I am a woman so I am nothing. I stand up for myself so I am behaving inappropriately.

He went back on his word. He was willing to be flexible when it was only my husband’s voice he had to hear, but the moment I said anything, even tried to say anything, he backed out, blamed us, blamed me. Legally, there is nothing I can do. He’ll get all his money and we’ll get all the inconvenience. He’ll keep on doing whatever he wants to do with no threat of retribution. It is absolutely sickening to me. He is the epitome of calling good evil and evil good. And now as I sit here in this house, all I can feel is the mold. Like he’s growing in every ugly place. If I could move out today with my family and belongings and never set foot inside again, I would.

I’m sure he thinks he’s won, but he hasn’t. He can take our money and he will. He can ignore me and persecute me and treat me like I’m nothing and he has. He can lie and lie and mistreat and lie some more and he does. But such a man could never conquer goodness. And such a man will never conquer me.