Things insurance should include in prenatal care

Mar 25

Dear insurance provider,

Please add this list to the things included in my prenatal care:

  • haircuts and dye/highlights and styling as often as wanted/needed to not feel like a dishcloth
  • leg waxing because shaving at 25+ weeks is legit way too much work
  • a few hours of free babysitting to look forward to every week
  • manicures and pedicures anytime I want, but especially the pedicures cuz I really can’t bend in half anymore
  • unlimited massages
  • one of those grabby reachy tool things so I can pick stuff up without bending over
  • a comfortable alternative to bras
  • a live-in cook and housekeeper
  • a chauffeur
  • a hot tub size pool/bath I can just sit in all the time

The free pregnancy book you gave me at my first visit was nice and all, but I kinda already knew all that stuff and I think these things would contribute a billion times more to my mental and physical health.

Sincerely,

Me

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